The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: The Bachelorette

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: The Bachelorette

Tonight on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen plans a bachelorette party for Tamra. Even though Tamra and Eddie haven't set a date and have no plans to get married other than a ring?

Whatever. It's a vacation and there's booze. That means there's bound to be some fun.

We're recapping it all with our THG +/- review!

After Tamra's tearful conversation with her mom last week, she's ready to turn over a new, less-angry leaf. Lydia comes over for lemonade and a snack. She also hopes to broker peace between Tamra and Alexis. 

Lydia calls herself the "friendship whisperer" and says that this is all part of her master plan. Master plan for what, Lydia?? Maybe you should hit up your mom's house and bring along a bit of her stash for this. Minus 8.

 

Gretchen and Heather get together to plan Tamra's bachelorette party. They're designing a custom swimsuit for Tamra for the trip, but they're having trouble agreeing. On anything. Minus 4.

Heather wants an art gallery and a spay day and shopping. Gretchen wants strippers. Unclutch your pearls, Heather. Let Gretchen win this one. 

Vicki and Alexis meet for drinks and Vicki's nervous about going because of Tamra and Gretchen's friendship.

Alexis is a little shocked about Tamra's phone call inviting her to lunch. She's optimistic that Tamra can't hang on to the anger forever. 

Vicki, enough with "the bracelet thing." Enough. Jealousy doesn't look good on you. Minus 12.

Lydia and Alexis meet up with Tamra for lunch. Tamra's a glass of wine in before they get there, in hopes of calming her nerves. There's an awkward hug. And then an awkward silence. And then an awkward Lydia.

Tamra says she wants to break the cycle of hurting for Alexis. She wants to take some time to get to know Alexis without the outside influence of the other ladies first. 

Way to go, Tamra! Plus 50.

Gretchen goes to meet Lauri and her horse. Slade and Lauri used to "date." And by date we mean sleep together. 

Talk turns to Vicki and Gretchen says Vicki's one of the most hypocritical people she's ever met in her life. Lauri heard about all of that. And then some. 

Apparently Vicki cheated on Don. A lot. With men. And women. And apparently she has a thing for men with bad teeth.

Gretchen's honest when she tells Lauri she's going to have a hard time keeping all of these secrets. Once they get to Mexico and the alcohol starts to flow? No way those bodies are staying buried.

Heather's packing for Mexico and tells Terry there will be a stripper. She's never seen a stripper. Terry doesn't count. I'm so glad they're back! Plus 8.

Lydia's never been on a bachelorette trip and doesn't know how many pairs of shoes she needs to bring for two nights. She's also never seen a stripper and Doug's not nearly as nice about the stripper thing as Terry was, which is surprising considering he was so okay with Grandma's pot smoking ways.

Gretchen has an entire suitcase' worth of bachelorette party paraphernalia and that's not even including the penis stuff. Plus 20.

It's B-day!! The ladies start to arrive at the airport to head to Mexico and Vicki's got a sash for Tamra. Because apparently she doesn't think Gretchen would've through of that. 

Quote of the night goes to Vicki: "This is a bachelorette party. She can drink out of more than one penis cup." Plus 10.

Telling Tamra that they're going to Mexico was slightly underwhelming. I'm not sure they got the reaction from her that they'd hoped to get.

Vicki's about to lose points for overuse of the word "whoop." And I'm not even going to mention that move with the lollipop. At least not with words.

The girls get changed and head to dinner. Vicki wants to party the whole time they're in Mexico. Tamra wants to spend the first night sleeping. She's too old to drink two nights in a row. 

Lydia asks if they can have chips and salsa. This is not that kind of restaurant. Minus 10

Gretchen looks a bit perturbed. Which makes Heather perturbed. 

Vicki wants to go to Andale's. Heather wants to go to bed. So does Tamra. Lydia wants everyone to eat some shrimp! 

Vicki pulls Lydia and Tamra off on a walking tour of Puerto Vallarta leaving Heather and Gretchen on their own. Bad form, Vicki. Bad form. Minus 5.

Heather and Gretchen have been waiting in the limo for 20 minutes thinking that Vicki, Tamra, and Lydia are still in the restroom. But no. They're off buying light-up hairbows. 

Vicki's evil plan to steal Tamra away from Gretchen seems to be working.

Hold up.

Best quote of the night goes to Gretchen. "I want to unleash a wrath of 'furry' on this girl." I mean, when in Mexico, right??

EPISODE TOTAL: +49  SEASON TOTAL: +74

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